... how some people read other people's blogs, see something about them (no names, BTW) and get terribly offended? What did you expect? After all, you are reading someone else's personal thoughts, feelings, ramblings, maybe even rants... you're peeking in where you already know you're an outsider, a voyeur. Secretly, you're thrilled to see yourself mentioned, admit it. Then, when it's not the most flattering thing, even when you know it's that person's truth, honestly spoken yet not bitchy, you become offended and utter some vague threat, offer some illusive reckoning. The comments weren't even that bad, really, and seriously, nothing you didn't already know.
Well, what did you think would happen? What did you expect to find there? If it were about someone else, you wouldn't think twice about it. However... this was about YOU. So, it's clearly different and clearly Something Must Be Done. Should we all censor ourselves in our own forums in order to keep the peace? Should we only publish kind, thoughtful, and above all, flattering, complimentary, toadying comments about those we know and love? Maybe our thoughts should be that way, too. What if someone could see into my head? Maybe I should only think sweet thoughts, thoughts of loving kindness toward every person I deal with every single day. Then, one day in the not-so-near future, I could snap under the strain of my self-wrought falsehood and either commit homicide or suicide, depending on whether my caged loathing has turned outward or inward. I am, after all, not the Dalai Lama, and as far as I know, only one person is. As much as I strive to think only loving thoughts, I understand my imperfection.
I rarely intend to hurt anyone's feelings, and most people I know are the same way. However, if I read someone's blog, I understand that I am entering "Them Land!" It's all about them. If I appear at all, I am a mere accessory to their existence: I'm a pink plastic Barbie couch. You know what? That's ok, because on my blog, they are probably relegated to being a faux pearl ring. My blog is "Me Land!" Come on in! BUT, don't be offended when it's not about you. Don't get your feelings hurt when I rant about what stupid thing you've done now... again. Don't get snarky when I'm honest with my blog in a way you've made it impossible for me to be with you in person.
There is a simple rule regarding life that I think everyone should know and follow: You probably don't want to know what everyone thinks of you, so don't ask. The follow-up to that rule is: However, if you do ask (in this example by reading a blog), you better be ready to put on your big girl panties and deal. You knew what you were getting into and unless the comments include your name, address, phone number, picture, libel, or blatant, damaging lies, you really don't have a leg to stand on. After all... you did enter into "Them Land!" The passport does not guarantee a smooth ride. It's not fair to not allow anyone a place to be who they really are, deep down, in the dirty, sticky bits where nothing ever really stops hurting. It's not fair to amputate someone's anger, their defense, their hurt because it's ugly and it offends you with it's terrible truth. It's as much a part of who we are as the sunny smile and compassionate heart, the giving nature and the loving hands. It's not pretty, but it's not public, either. You opened the box, Pandora. Now you've got to take what you get.
BB!
~Jeannie
1 comment:
You know, this is so true, which is one reason that on one hand, I try not to put anything in print that I would think I'd truly regret later on, and on the other, the reason that I also don't "friend-only" any of my posts. Really, if I only wanted certain people reading certain things, the way technology screws up anyways, the chance is there that it could be spewed to the entire world anyways. I know I've been accused of being ultra sensitive before, but you're right, if you purposefully go to someone's blog to read about their feelings, and you're their friend, then there's a chance you'll be mentioned. Obviously, I mention my friends often, and sometimes, I even confuse them sometimes. I think I've even confused you with someone once. lol *hugs* Miss ya in the GH thread though!
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